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whatshouldwecallconservatory:

I find myself panicking for all sorts of ridiculous reasons.  11 days, before I leave for 3 weeks, to get it together…

…I have driven myself into an excited frenzy.  18 more, busy days before I fly my little self on over to Romania. 18 more days and I get to experience a brand new culture! woo!!! 18 more days until I’ll finally be jumping back into the arms of the one man who has driven me crazy enough to love him so intensely.  

Today is the day…. I buy my ticket to visit my handsome, amazing boyfriend for three weeks!!!! I feel like a child on Christmas morning, I’m so excited!

That man drives me crazy in so many ways, but I love every moment of it. It’s been an extremely difficult road since he’s been gone. There’s has been a few discussions with people about whether or not they believe our relationship is substantial because of the length of time we’ve together. Is that really their place or area of expertise to criticize that? No. Great, you think it’s not substantial. But, my response to that: 1) go to hell 2) I’ve spent everyday (practically) of the last 6 or so months with this man and 3) I may not know him as deeply as some longer relationships, but Lord knows that I want to know him in every way possible way. And that desire and the fact that I’m irrevocably in love with this man, is enough for me to continue with this relationship.

Romania in July…I’m a happy kind of nervous.  Or a nervous happy.  Which ever way the cookie crumbles, but I’m ‘sure as can be’ excited! To think that, despite how long it’s been since I’ve seen him and how long it’s going to be until then, the distances, the time difference… my feelings have not diminished in the least.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  It may have something to do with that all I have to think about are all the reasons why and how I love him so.  Am I still worried about how everything will play out?  Yes.  Absolutely, yes, I’m worried.  Scared.  Nervous.  And whatever uncertain feelings you can throw in there.  It hasn’t been that long for us.  Not long at all, but that does not change anything about how quickly and how intensely I feel toward him and our relationship.  I don’t know what our (way in the..) future holds and I’m not so keen on thinking about it.  But our present day and immediate future looks resilient to any obstacles and hardships.  We will make it work.  I’m going to make sure of that.  Each and every day it will take an effort.  And each and every day, he is more and more worth it.  

There’s something beautiful in the bond shared in important relationships. All the intricacies, the ups, the downs, the secrets that only you two will ever know… Those things help in withstanding any hardships you may face together and remind you why you do love them so.

It’s a strange thing, feeling removed from such familiar and usual places. Home, campus, even the car… Strange world indeed when something or someone, a huge component of your life, is missing.